From old journals:
I have been keeping journals since middle school. I am in college now, but I often go back and revisit my old ones. I did that today and came across these posts from 2007. They broke my heart.
“11 June 2007.
I’m feeling so imperfect- so large, so fat, so ugly.
I want to starve myself again.
I want to fast.
I want to be able to see my ribs even when I bend over, and feel BEAUTIFUL.
I want to weigh less than 100 pounds. [Is this to much to ask?]
I’m going to starve for perfection.
115lb. (current weight)
Wish me luck!”
By December of that year (1.12.2007) I weighed 98 pounds.
And yet, no one in my family knows that I did this to myself? Am I that great at acting or are they really that clueless? It is 2011 now, how are they STILL so clueless? My mind is honestly quite blown.
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